Love, love, love
by Nifty-Knacks
Summary: Song fic based on Love, Love, Love by Monsters and Men. For Bubblelounge on Tumblr. USUK


_Authors Notes: Something I wrote for Bubblelounge on Tumblr. It's based on the song Love, Love, Love by Of Monsters and Men. Thanks for reading!  
_

* * *

He couldn't love him.

It couldn't happen.

Alfred stood to one side of the crowded party, sipping his drink and laughing at a joke, said one too many times. It wasn't funny anymore, or maybe that was just his mood. A mood that no one really supposed he was in, because this man was a master of masks.

But that didn't matter right now.

Right now he saw flashes of bare skin, soft moans and whispered words. The bed creaking, moving in tandem with one another. Words of adoration and love that were returned, but only in that moment.

It had been a blissful night that had given way to a cold, foggy morning. Maybe if this was a movie then it would've been dreary or rainy, but Alfred thought that the cool mists suited things much better as they parted ways before the door to the almost shabby hotel room had opened. Even the setting of a hotel was cliché.

He looked up, unintentionally catching his bright gaze on the other side of the room. Eyes met, but just as quickly Arthur averted his gaze to nod at something said.

Alfred had said those words. And he'd returned them. It was right at the time, but wrong overall. That boy loved without thinking. He'd held him close through the night, only to be left alone the very next morning, but Arthur couldn't bring himself to feel guilty. He felt remorse for his situation, but he'd known from the very start that nothing would come of it. There was no trace of it even happening, and there would never be the admission that it had.

"Just let it go." "But why?! Why can't we _try_!" "Quit being such a child. Don't leave until I'm gone."

Those words had stung, and Alfred had to wonder if Arthur had meant it or had just said it to drive him away.

Arthur let himself look up again and caught Alfred's gaze once more. So bright, such a vibrant person even when Arthur knew he was hurting. He'd not gone without seeing the pain in his eyes. He glanced to the door in the middle of the crowded room before slipping away from his group with a smooth excuse.

* * *

Standing outside in the cool night air he listened to the buzz of the flood light overhead, the gentle thud of the moths hitting said light, as he took another drag of his smoke. He didn't turn until he heard him speak, the door having closed behind Alfred a few minutes before.

"So?"

"You know we can't," he murmured gently, almost condescendingly.

Alfred looked irritated, hurt, and most of all like a love sick puppy. Soon Arthur was cast in his shadow, pressed to the brick behind him. He didn't fight Alfred as he pried his mouth open with his own lips, tasting the smoky flavor the cigarette had left behind. He wrinkled his nose but ignored it, deepening the kiss.

Arthur dropped his cigarette, slowly returning the kiss, trying not to give Alfred too much hope. "We can't," he said, their lips just brushing as they stole a quick breath from the cool night air.

"We should," Alfred countered, stealing Arthur's breath away again.

They'd been gone for fifteen, maybe twenty minutes. Neither missed the small talk, now both standing coolly beside each other as they traded another cigarette back and forth. "You should really give these things up," Alfred commented, the night air having taken the flush from his face. Arthur missed it, just a bit.

"Mm. We probably ought to head back in," he commented, plucking it from between Alfred's fingers to steal another drag.

Alfred ignored this. "So… That's it? Now I'm just supposed to act like it never happened?"

He nodded curtly. "Like what happened? My dear boy, you knew what you were getting yourself in for. You know I can't. I've got priorities."

This rankled with Alfred, shooting Arthur a glare. He took the offered cigarette back, stomping it out instead of handing it back again. Arthur could feel the anger coming from him, the lack of direction it held. "And I'm not one of them. Don't call me that. I'm not your dear anything. Just- Man, don't talk to me." His tone was harsh. Arthur sighed, watching him go to push open the door. Alfred would be angry now, but he wouldn't be tonight. He knew how he was.

Alfred was almost hit with the door as he tried to push it open, stumbling back in surprise. The women who'd pushed it open gave an apologetic smile to her husband's friend. "Sorry about that, Al. Seen Arthur- Oh! There you are, sweetie. Come on, you don't want to miss it, they're about to make the announcement!"

Arthur pushed away from the wall, offering Alfred an apologetic smile over his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around the woman's waist, the perfect wife in his family's eyes. In society's eyes. Alfred's gaze wasn't as hard as he'd expected. It was hurt. Arthur felt a bit like he'd kicked a puppy.

Alfred watched them walk off; staying outside well after the door had clicked shut. There was a loud groan of frustration, then a few curses as he kicked the wall. The wall wasn't harmed, but his foot was sore in the moments after, glossy black shoes scuffed. Eventually he sighed, shoulders slumped as he made his way back to his car. Arthur had said to forget it all. How was he supposed to forget that he loved the man who could never be his? Because there was never any doubt between them that he'd tried hard enough to earn what he'd easily handed over to Arthur.

Later that night, in bed when he was positive no one would hear, there came the choked sobs of a man who felt like he'd lost his best friend and the love of his life in one single blow, and yet he couldn't speak a word on it.


End file.
